Our family is on a huge faith journey that developed a heartbeat shortly after the devastating earthquake in Haiti. We were driving in our car headed to Tucumari, NM for a ministry event. As we listened to XM radio, orphans in Haiti became a constant theme in the news. For those passing by on the road and looking in on us, it was obvious that we had a heart for adoption. Petite, golden skin with almond eyes sat in one car seat and soft, chocolate skin with curly locks sat in another while their pasty white mom and dad drove them to the middle of nowhere. But that's the thing - we've already adopted - two times...haven't we done our part? That is where my husband's mind was in the days leading up to this car ride. (To Billy's credit, we have had a really tough year since getting Gracie. She's an easy baby, but we faced some pretty major illnesses upon our return home and it was rough! So he's been through it!) I had been praying that God would open his heart to just one more child, but had made a promise to Billy, one month prior to that day, that I would not bring up adoption again and would just let the Lord change his heart if the Lord was so inclined. Two days into our time in Tucumcari, as we ate lunch with our band a conversation about children came up between Billy and Kevin and I overhead Billy say, "No more kids. We're not having a third child." And that was that.
Twenty-four hours later we were in the car listening to stories about orphans again. You can imagine why I didn't take Billy seriously when he asked, "So how do parents go about adopting the orphans in Haiti?" I sarcastically replied, "Why? Are you interested?" To which he said, "yeah, maybe." I sat in the front seat wondering what in the world just took place. Did I miss something?
Yes. I missed something. I forgot that God is NOT a square... I forgot - He doesn't live in a box. He's not boring. He's up for the adventure I'm asking for. He doesn't just hear. He answers and makes things happen. He's powerful!
I had assumed God would take forever to change Billy's mind/heart. I even assumed at times that God would never do what I had asked of him. But in that one minute conversation with Billy God stepped into the car as if to say, "Cindy, you are such a SQUARE. So little faith...but I answered you anyway. Now, follow me."
But I kinda like being a square most days. So safe, organized and simple. And within 24 hours I felt it was hip to be square again. I had done a little research on Haitian adoptions and the wave of families interested in helping these orphans and I quickly realized that everyone in America was lining up to take in these children while Haiti wasn't letting any out (not even the ones that had been in the process of adoption for years!). And before I knew it, I decided what God seemed to have started in my husband was unlikely to be fulfilled. Shrrriiiiink...yep, not just a square anymore...now, a very small square.
On the drive home from Tucumcari God had plans to destroy my square status. A form and letter arrived in our inbox via our iPhone. As I read it I realized my square had a name - Humpty Dumpty - and I would never be put back together again. The letter was stating that a particular orphanage in Haiti had more than 50 orphans for whom they hoped to get humanitarian parole and if they got h.p. they would 1. need parents/families to take them in (ME! ME!) and 2. would be flying into San Antonio to stay (wait a second - THAT'S MY CITY!! WHAT????) I shared the email with Billy and we both sat there in awe of what was unfolding. Square pegs don't fit into round holes...time to break the equal sides and morph!
Have you ever tried to type a letter and fill out a form on your iPhone in the car (side note: I was not driving!)? Not fun...especially when you feel like you're in a race to get in that "line" to host/adopt one of these orphans. I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity (as if that's possible when God's in it) since God had so evidently changed my husband's heart AND made it clear that San Antonio was on the "list" to take these children in. After an 11 hour drive we arrived home, completed the form and the journey of faith began. I was determined to be square-no-more. And I began asking God to mold us for the adventure to come. I think I faintly heard him say, "Ever heard of an amoeba? Its shape is constantly changing as it moves along."