Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Sad, Sweet and Healthy

This morning I overheard this:
Libby to Gracie: Do you miss your Ethiopian mom and dad? 
Gracie: yeah.
Recognizing this was most likely something that Libby was struggling with but had diverted to Gracie I asked Libby: "Do you miss your Chinese mom and dad?"
Libby in her little-girl-scared-to-tell-the-truth-voice: No! I love you, mommy.
To which I replied, "Well, I know that, but it's ok if you wonder about your Chinese mom and dad. That is very normal. Do you miss them?"
Libby, still afraid to reveal her deepest thoughts replied: "sort of."

Such are the conversations in an adoptive family. Sad, but sweet. And most importantly, healthy. When I shared this with Billy he asked how a 5 year old could be aware of that kind of thing. Its because we talk about her story and we pray for her biological family so she has words for it. Little ones are more aware of their emotions than we think. If we give them words for it, there is healing. Now she knows I'm not scared or threatened by talking about her feelings for her biological family. And one day, she'll open up completely. For today, this is enough. Makes me cry. Makes my heart ache for her, for the unknown biological family. But it also makes me happy that we were given a glimpse into Libby's heart/world. Trust, light, good. 


carissa said...

it's certainly bittersweet. love you all.

ps. sending a package this friday. : )

The Reeds said...

You're doing such a great job Cindy...Keep it up. :)

Kyla Makay said...

Good job... I can't even imagine how hard that is.

melifaif said...

You are such a fantastical momma....

Trinity said...

I got to your blog through my friend Kelli Lambert. I love reading your posts. My sister and I adopted 4 sisters through dhs foster. I love this post about allowing them to grieve. It is so important for them and so important to allow them to still love their biological parents. My girls went through tons of abuse and remember it clearly, but they still love their parents and it is so important for them to get our "approval" for them to love them. Thanks for sharing so much!

Kara M said...

Thank you for sharing this! I read it to Josh.

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