Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Cry For Justice

I don't have the words yet. I simply can't write it all out. The adoption process continues along its roller coaster track. The roller coster being emotions, not the actual process. The process a standstill.

One signature. One signature is all we need to move out of the office we are in. And its downhill from there. One signature. Other families have come and gone through this office with speed. We still need one signature.

I wish I could describe my prayer life to you...the things I bring before the Lord regarding Keemberlie and this adoption.  One minute I am at complete peace, resting in God's timing. The next minute I am wrestling with God, crying out for his justice and swift victory.

Something was said to me recently that made me question how deeply I long for God's justice for Keemberlie. The next day I found myself praying that the Lord would lessen this deep passion if he saw fit - if somehow I was out of balance. Then He reminded me of a passage in Revelation in which the martyrs (people who die defending their faith in Jesus) in heaven are crying out for the justice of God in the end times. And it occurred to me: If martyrs are crying out for the justice of God to rise up while in the very presence of Jesus - where one would think they would have complete rest and comfort -  it must be a seriously deep desire. One that God loves. And that makes it right.

I want justice for a 7 year old girl who never has a Haitian relative visit her in the orphanage; who has not known family for nearly 3 years; whose knowledge of family before that was a grandmother who could not feed her or care for her.

I want justice for a 7 year old girl who calls me mom; who cries desperately when my visit to see her comes to an end; whose sisters pray for her daily; whose room is ready; whose table is set; whose coming-home-dress hangs in her closet.

I want justice for a 7 year old girl whose mouth/brain/body long for the healthy food we eat all day; whose skin is tired of itching from scabies; whose soul and world-view are beyond her years; whose mind/knowledge lag behind with no education.

I want justice for a 7 year old girl who needs the protection of a father; who needs parents to answer when she cries out with bad dreams; who needs words of life spoken over her daily for the renewal of her mind.

This longing is real. It runs deeper than any desire I have ever known. And it is right.


The Reeds said...

I'm sorry this is so difficult. Praying for you...

Kari said...

Praying for justice with you.

Kari Perritte

Sarah Moore said...

Oh, sweet Cindy. I love how honestly you pour out your heart, and am praying for you. The older I get, the less I think I have the "answer." I don't know why there is such a delay in what we clearly can agree is best for K. I just don't know, and it makes me sad to think of what your family is going through. Maybe this time is for you and your family. Maybe God needs you all to be at the top of your spiritual "game" before He brings her home because she will need you to be. Maybe God knows you will need to be so close to Him that you can feel His breath upon your ear when He whispers. Maybe He is preparing you for the battle to come. I don't know, but I am praying to the one that does know. Praying for little Libby and her nightly battles. Praying for health and strength in your family. Praying for Keemberlie...that God is preparing her for her new life and preparing her heart to receive Him in a new way. Praying for a swift resolution of the adoption process. Praying with thankfulness that He is sovereign...and that He is GOOD.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should name her Justice. :)

We have been praying for your precious family! I drove home from Houston last night and cried for your family listening to your cd asking God to show you HIS plan and faithfulness soon. Praying your burden is lighter and God restores your strength soon!

Shine Like Stars said...

"whose coming-home-dress hangs in her closet." - This is where my tears started flowing.
I will continue standing in agreement with you and praying with you until that moment I'm standing in the SA airport waiting for ya'll to walk through the glass doors.

Sally said...

I know how you are feeling. It will make reunion so much sweeter. God can move mountains so he certainly can handle this.

Mendy Knight said...


You don't know me but we share many mutual friends in the DFW area...your story has moved me to tears! I am praying that your baby Sunny Eliza will be home soon and the justice of the Lord will prevail! My husband and I have traveled to orphanages in Uganda, Mexico, and Columbia...I can visualize the ache of leaving YOUR child there when there is a HOME for her here!!!
Moved to tears by your gift of writing and your compassionate heart for the orphaned! I am looking forward to rejoicing with you when she is finally home~ until then I am praying with expectation!

Mendy Knight

melifaif said...

It is right. And she should be WHOLE and HOME. Not waiting for ONE signature. heart breaking. Please know I keep you all in my daily prayers.

Kelley said...

No Way! Truly a small small world. You, in particular, have been on my heart and mind, for the past two weeks - and you probably don't even remember me. We met in Lake Wales, FL, maybe 7ish years ago, when you and Billy came to our church to lead worship for an event. My husband was the youth pastor there at the time. (We've since moved to TN). He's seen you guys (sometime in the past few years) at a youth camp and updated me a bit. You gave me a copy of the book, Window in a Glass House. Remember? I've actually been re-reading it. And Carissa? You're related? I don't know her personally, but blogging has a way of making friends out of strangers. Again, a small world. So glad to find you. For some reason, you still hold a dear place in my heart and mind. Still pray for you and your ministry. Still blessed by your songs. Looking forward to reading through your blogs and catching up. Would love to hear from you. And of course, curious to know if you remember me at all - or is it just me? Ha! Blessings to you and your growing family. ~ Kelley Williams

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